Divorce after 50, also known as gray divorce, is increasing. While divorce at any age comes with challenges, divorce later in life brings a unique set of circumstances. During a gray divorce, the emotional, financial, and practical aspects are typically intensified. Whether you are contemplating a divorce or going through one, there are ways to cope as well as learn from the process.
Understanding the Emotional Impact
Gray divorce can trigger a whirlwind of emotions such as anger, fear, and sadness. After years of marriage and building a life together, losing the relationship can almost feel like a death. Give yourself permission to grieve the loss of the relationship. It’s important to lean on friends, family, or therapists for emotional support. There are also support groups specifically tailored for individuals going through a gray divorce which can also offer valuable insights and a sense of community.
In order to deal with the emotional pain, it’s important to focus on self-care. Doing activities that bring you joy can help alleviate stress and sadness. Engage in regular exercise, practice mindfulness or meditation, and indulge in hobbies that promote self-expression.
Financial Considerations
There are also financial aspects to consider when you divorce later in life. Most people, after years of marriage, have accumulated a multitude of shared assets. Unless there is a pre or post-nuptial agreement, dividing shared assets can be a complex process. In some states, like California, assets accumulated during the marriage are considered “community property” meaning that they get split evenly. This can include employee benefits, pension plans, business ownership stakes, multiple vehicles or homes, inheritances, and life insurance. it is essential to assess your financial situation thoroughly. Similarly, evaluate your debts, such as mortgages, loans, and credit card balances. A divorce lawyer can strategize ways to protect your valuable assets, like your 401k and retirement benefits.
Determining Alimony and Spousal Support
Even later in life, alimony and divorce can still come into play. It’s particularly important if there is a significant income disparity. While there are different laws and regulations, your attorney can help those in your jurisdiction. The court will consider factors such as the length of the marriage, earning capacity, and contributions to the marriage when deciding on alimony.
Embracing a New Chapter
While divorce is undoubtedly challenging, it can also mark the beginning of an exciting new chapter in your life, and it can be an opportunity for personal growth. Use this period of transition to invest in your personal growth. Setting new goals and investing in yourself can bring a renewed sense of purpose and fulfillment. It’s also important to lean on friends and family for support. Understand that this process isn’t easy, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.