A divorce is a challenging and emotionally disruptive time in someone’s life, but when someone is the victim of domestic violence in a marital relationship, it can be particularly dangerous. If you are in an abusive relationship and planning to leave, it is essential to take the appropriate steps in order to protect yourself and your family. This article will discuss how domestic violence and divorce interact with one another, while also providing tips to stay safe during this difficult and trying time.
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence is a tactic used to gain control over a romantic/intimate partner. Domestic violence can happen in relationships both in and outside of marriage, and it is a massive issue that affects millions of people every day. It is estimated that violence between intimate partners is experienced by about 12 million people per year. So, what constitutes domestic violence? It can include physical violence, emotional abuse, sexual abuse, and financial abuse. One in three women and one in four men are estimated to experience domestic violence in their lifetime.
Leaving an Abusive Relationship or Marriage
When deciding to leave a violent and abusive relationship or marriage, it is important to acknowledge that the risk of violence increases significantly during this time. A violent partner is likely to get more violent when their victim has finally decided they have had enough. This is why it is important to have a safety plan in place when you are leaving an abusive relationship.
Here are some things you can do to ensure you have a solid safety plan in place before leaving:
- Secure a place to stay before you leave if you leave with your violent partner. Reach out to close friends or family who are likely to take you in and give you a safe place to stay for a few days. Be sure to communicate with them about the situation if possible.
- Create a code word or action with friends and family to alert them that you are in danger. This will give you a sense of security before leaving your abusive relationship, as others have been looped in on the severity of the situation.
- Secure your important documents such as your passport, photo ID, and social security card. Abusers will go to great lengths to harm you, and having these things in your possession is paramount.
- Consider filing a restraining order. Although this might seem complicated based on your situation, it can provide a solid safety blanket for someone looking to escape an abusive relationship. If you are in immediate danger, you can opt for an emergency restraining order if necessary.
- Be mindful of your digital presence. An abuser can use your social media or other online platforms as an attempt to contact you, harass you, or track your movements. It is best to lay low on the internet at this time, and consider changing your passwords as well.
Support Systems
According to Steve Miller, a Florida family law attorney, having a support system during this time of your life is extremely important. Your support system can vary from close friends, to family, or even to professional help such as a therapist or counselor. These people will provide you emotional support and help to protect you as you escape the abusive relationship.
Divorce and domestic violence can intersect in dangerous ways. If you are planning on leaving a violent relationship, try your best to have a plan in place to protect yourself and your family. By using the tips above, you can take the first steps to safety and a new way of life.
If you are seeking help in an abusive relationship, The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available to you 24/7 at 800-799-7233.