Divorce is never easy. It is an emotionally draining process that makes everyday life even more challenging and can take a toll on the whole family. Obtaining a divorce while trying to take care of children can make the process more arduous as the emotional aspect affects everyone, even your kids. Some children navigate divorce in an understanding way, but in others, divorce can increase levels of anxiety, depression, and anti-social behaviors. While every child navigates divorce differently, the following are some of the most common effects of divorce on children.
Increased Emotional Sensitivity:
Divorce can bring a multitude of emotions to the forefront of a family. According to the divorce attorneys at Boyd Law, “the emotional stages for divorce have often been compared to the five stages of grief.” For children, the feelings of loss, anger, anxiety, and confusion can be incredibly difficult to navigate and can cause them to be more sensitive and have more extreme reactions to things.
Anger:
As previously stated, the emotions of a divorce can be very difficult to navigate as a child. Often, kids feel very overwhelmed and are unsure of how to react to a divorce, which results in anger. This anger can be directed in a variety of places and is displayed differently in every child. Some children direct their anger toward their parents, friends, or other individuals. Other children simply get angrier over little things, like not being able to get a certain toy, etc. Often, this anger dissipates after several weeks.
Poor Academic Performance:
Divorce can be very distracting for children. This interruption in their daily lives can distract them from their academics. Thinking about why their parents are getting divorced or what their new normal will look like can distract them during school. The more distracted kids are, the more likely they are to perform poorly in school.
Less Interest in Social activities:
Research demonstrates that divorce can also affect kids’ social behaviors. Children whose parents are going through a divorce may have a more difficult time relating to other kids whose parents are still together. Divorce can make a child feel insecure and alone, which impacts their socialness.
Feelings of Guilt:
Children often do not understand why a divorce is happening. They look for reasons why and often wonder why their parents no longer love each other and if it was their fault. These feelings are very normal and common in children, but they can lead to other issues. Guilt increases pressure which can lead to anxiety, stress, depression, insomnia, and other health problems. It’s important for parents to provide context as well as counseling to children experiencing divorce.
Mental Health Problems
The process of divorce can incredibly stressful for children. Many studies show that divorce may increase the risk of mental health problems in children and adolescents. Divorce can trigger adjustment disorder in young children and other mental health issues like anxiety and depression regardless of age. Helping your child feel loved and safe, as well as teaching coping skills, can help your child adapt to divorce.
Although divorce can negatively affect children, there are ways for parents to help lessen the impact on their children. Peacefully co-parenting, seeking parent education, avoiding putting children in the middle, and getting professional help for you and your child can help reduce the negative effects of divorce. With the right tools, the negative effects of divorce can be mitigated and your child