For the love of science

I've been doing extensive research on the humans in my environment. I walk all over the house, yelling repeatedly, and observe their reactions, which are quite curious. If you want to undertake this kind of a study, it is important to being each session with adequate supplies of food and water, so that your cries are not misinterpreted as gustatory requests. Then, cry out, and observe your humans. Do they respond vocally, or with actions? Do they lock you in the bathroom? It is important to continue yelling for as long as possible, regardless, in order to collect the maximum amount of experimental data. It is also useful to try at different times of day and night.

Thus far, results of my own studies in this area are inconclusive. But I can't help but feel, each day, that perhaps this experiment will be the one during which enlightenment dawns.