Wednesday, January 14, 2004

Etiquette quiz

You are driving your fancy, high-priced silver car on a residential street. You make an illegal left turn, nearly striking a pedestrian in the crosswalk. The pedestrian addresses you angrily. What is the proper response?

A. Drive on as if nothing had happened.

B. Pull over and apologize for your inability to read road signs, obey traffic laws, or see people 5 feet in front of you.

C. Stop in the middle of the street, roll down your window, and scream gibberish, obscenties, and epithets at him! It’s not you who is wrong! Impossible! You have a fancy silver car! You are a big man! Something as silly as a little traffic law doesn’t apply to you—and if you’ve endangered the life of an innocent bystander, why, he had it coming! And who is he anyway? Nobody! Certainly not a big man like you! Frankly, you’d be doing him a favor. When will he have another opportunity to be so close to greatness? To be run over by such an important man—with such a nice car! You gave him the chance of a lifetime, and what did you get? Grief! Some people.

Jackass.

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