Stop making sense

John Ashcroft is finally doing something right. He’s joined the call to repeal the section of the Patriot Act that allows government agents to investigate library patrons’ activities in secret, with librarians not allowed even to mention that they’ve been visited by said agents.

“The fact is, with just 11,000 FBI agents and over a billion visitors to America’s libraries each year, the Department of Justice has neither the staffing, the time nor the inclination to monitor the reading habits of Americans,” he said. “No offense to the American Library Association, but we just don’t care.”

Ashcroft’s comments came after the release yesterday of a memo he wrote disclosing that the Justice Department has never used a controversial section of the Patriot Act that allows authorities in terrorism investigations to obtain records from libraries, bookstores and other businesses without notifying the subject of the probe.

Yes, it makes perfect sense. The FBI has never used this power, and Ashcroft can see that it upsets people, so he’s decided to burnish his image at no cost by asking that the offending section of the Patriot Act be repealed. What a nice fellow!

Oh, wait, I’m sorry. I completely missed this other thing he said. Funny, it came right after that first part. How could I have missed it?

“The charges of the hysterics,” Ashcroft added, “are revealed for what they are: castles in the air built on misrepresentation; supported by unfounded fear; held aloft by hysteria.”

Say you don’t think naw. John Ashcroft, the Attorney General of the United States of America, could not possibly be deriding civil libertarians as “hysterics” because they are concerned about the scope of a hastily-passed law that allows secret searches approved by a secret court. He can’t possibly be deriding them especially much because they aren’t mollified by his memo saying that the law has not—yet—been used. What’s next? Will he snidely accuse his political enemies of treason when they question him? Turn the power of his office away from protecting us from terrorism, and toward protecting us from bongs? Force local prosecutors to seek the death penalty when they don’t want to?

Oh, wait. I’m sorry.

Filed under: politics