I'm a AAA

Since everyone else is talking about Matrix Reloaded, I am compelled to rant, briefly, about how much I disliked the original. As Kevin Drum hints, it’s the batteries. I’m sorry, but I have a lifelong affection for the second law of thermodynamics, and I don’t like to see it with it’s pretty face pressed into the mud, crying to heaven for merciful release.

People take in more energy than they give out. We use this energy for things like walking to the theater, transporting popcorn from bag to mouth, gaping at the stupidity of a very popular movie, and steeling ourselves once again to endure the scorn of our nerd friends who think we are nit-picking twirps. Thus, logically, the super-intelligent evil AI of the future will be constructing not a giant hyperreal SIMS Online populated by popcorn popping pod people, but instead, a giant, regularly real corn field. Bonus reason: corn is not as good at martial arts as Keanu Reeves. Extra bonus: it is just as good at emoting on screen.

Filed under: sf